TCB: Rewrite of 1996
by JasonEpsilon725
Summary: She was there when Ponykind met Earth, and things went downhill from there. To avert what is, to her, a horrible future, a Royal Scientist named Prancer chooses to go back in time and transform herself into a magical virus, so she can magically alter humanity to her liking. An experimental fic with a setting I don't normally use: The Conversion Bureau's Equestria!


She was there when her world met theirs, resulting in a dark and terrible future for both. She was there as the cruelty and barbarity of man brought out something dark and twisted in ponykind, something no pony was ever meant to feel. She told herself it was natural, she told herself all was well, she ignored death after death at the hooves of ponykind while feeling outrage over every pony death, and she decided the magical barrier's ability to wipe out all traces of human civilization simply had to be necessary, natural, and justified. After all, what kind of monster could kill a pony?

Only after the last human had been converted or killed did Prancer start to realize humanity had one last way to ruin things for ponykind.

Equestria had space, it had food, it had harmony and friendship and love... but Earth had people, and far too many of them. Equestria was flooded with stupid, mindless, perpetually-smiling mockeries of the equine form, who'd bear any punishment and take any dirty job without a care in the world. And if they messed up, it wouldn't dampen their mood, and they wouldn't think it was something to trouble a manager over, even if it blew up in everypony's faces. Soon enough, Celestia had to ban all newfoals from working complex jobs, and from working at all without a manager present. To prevent any additional problems that might lead ponies to question their presence in Equestria, she decided to get the bulk of them out of major cities, while letting the rest be taken into sweatshops and worked to death.

Special work-camps were built to give the newfoals something to do, producing clay plates and other easy-to-make objects to raise more money for a government that found it harder to provide for everypony every week. Some were sent to work in unsafe factories aped from humanity, as a lot of citizens needed a lot of food. After all, tinned sweetcorn and tinned "slightly-diluted"/"From Concentrate" apple juice would never spoil like a barrel of apples might. And for the stupidest ones, special care-homes were set up, far away from ponykind, where newfoals were looked after by patient doctors and nurses.

Out of sight, out of mind. Ponies simply assumed newfoals had some residual human badness left in them, and decided Celestia knew what was best. She always knew what was best. She was, after all, the best, kindest, and most loving Pony in Equestria. And Luna was pretty good, too.

Some newfoals went missing, and were never seen again. Some supposedly ran away, and were never seen again. One or two Newfoals... Well, the human race had the concept of a 'Darwin Award', but she'd never bothered to look up its cultural significance at the time.

Still, Royal Scientist Prancer, a lanky and middle-aged gold-coated Unicorn in a white labcoat, thought it was a fitting end for humanity. Her twin-bunned bone-white mane had two tails on either side of her head, and her eyes, hidden behind thin-rimmed black glasses, were gold. A pastel-pink stripe travelled down the length of her bone-white Rainbow Dash-like tail. She had lived a sheltered life, having sacrificed her social life to learn the ins and outs of rarer and supposedly weaker magical elements, such as Trust, Courage, and Love. When she felt lonely, she told herself she wouldn't have gotten where she was if everything wasn't perfectly fine.

She didn't fully understand what had happened to her own species until the foals of Newfoals, 20% of which somehow developed mental faculties typical of an ordinary pony, began to question why they couldn't see their parents.

Their concerns went ignored for months, until eventually, an emergency plan to save Equestria was hatched: Newfoals would be gathered together and shrunk in size to a quarter-inch in height, so they could finally be fed properly without hurting Equestria's food supply. One pet store owner could keep thousands of Newfoals caged without the need of special fully-staffed facilities. Finally, Equestria could finally get back on its hooves, and nopony would care what some stupid Foals-of-Newfoals had to say, not when Royal Scientists came out and claimed they only SEEMED to be intelligent in comparison to Newfoals, and were still intensely motivated by "human things" like greed and dishonesty, despite their pony form.

This wasn't what the New Newfoals wanted, and they lost hope. When violent revolutionary riots started, the foals of Newfoals and their families were shipped to the Shrinking Farms and placed in Cages where they couldn't hurt anypony else. The lucky ones were able to accept their situation and act like hamsters or puppies convincingly. They were sold to real ponies as pets, while the rest were trapped in cages for the rest of their lives.

Prancer wasn't willing to hang around and wait for some additional piece of evidence to present itself. She wasn't going to sit around and wait for some cheap new food product to be produced "Magically", something that tasted suspiciously like chicken, but tougher. She wasn't going to wait until ponies critical of Celestia started to die in their sleep, literally terrified to death after visits from Luna and whoever else she'd teach the spell needed to travel into dreams. She wasn't going to wait until she overheard some Griffon at a restaurant gloating about getting to eat newfoals as a reward for his or her new job, which was flying around at night and snatching up anypony who questioned Celestia.

She wasn't even going to sneak around and discover that many Newfoal houses were shipping their non-ponies off to a secret farm where Newfoals were mushed up and used as fertilizer for the biggest and most secretive fast food joint or food company in the world, and then meet the same fate when the local farmers caught her.

She didn't have to see any more evidence, she simply knew it to be true: She didn't like that solution Equestria chose for its problems. Which meant she was in a Dark Timeline, which meant something, somewhere, had gone horribly wrong.

And it was humanity's fault.

Prancer spent her nights awake and her days half-asleep, thoughts consumed by fear over what was happening to ponykind. So many times, she'd hear ponies talk about how ugly and evil those humans were, and how wonderful it was that they were all gone.

And that...

That was human talk. Humans hated all life forms they didn't resemble, humans hated all life forms they couldn't subjugate or destroy... Ponies weren't supposed to talk like that.

Ponies were supposed to be better than humans, and kinder than humans, and...

What if, when ponykind had first met humanity, something in them had rubbed off onto ponykind?

The thought made her sick to her stomach. If they were truly so inherently vile, they had to be stopped. Somepony had to stop them from being so disgusting, so repulsive, that simply being observed could corrupt her inherently pure species!

Prancer didn't tell anypony what she was doing. She didn't tell anypony what she was planning. She wasn't caught when she developed a spell for reading through the knowledge hidden within minds, or when she used it to learn the spell Twilight once needlessly used to travel back in time.

She just told her friends she was going to see an old friend, and she set off for a far-off region of Equestria with saddlebags packed full of tinned food and only tinned food.

Finally, in the distant, remote, and perpetually snow-capped Rocky Road Mountains north of Equestria, soft snowfall all around her, her horn lit up with a bright pink light, and she charged a spell Twilight could cast near-instantly for over four minutes, before finally vanishing.

* * *

Century after century flew back in mere moments, faint snowfalls and heavy blizzards flying in reverse as magically-sustained snow clouds almost entirely hid daylight and moonlight from the mountains. The sun and moon chased each other in a grand dance around Equestria, and when a new day dawned as time returned to normal, she appeared in a flash of pink light and found herself release a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

And collapsed, sweating profusely, and exhausted to the point of pain. _Why?_ Why was her magic so weak? Why didn't she exercise her magic more before attempting this? Surely, this had to be how obese humans felt after running marathons on their tiny two legs.

It hurt. It hurt so much!

When she resumed breathing air, she smiled. The air here was sweeter, purer, and more innocent. Her Equestria hadn't appeared on Earth yet, she could tell. And that made her happy.

Happy enough to not have a problem with waiting for two hours, to regain her strength.

With the pink light of her magic, she formed a big pink drill, and she began to drill into the biggest and nicest mountain around, carving out a nice and structurally-sound cave. When she was done, she froze the entrance over, trapping herself inside, and she covered the glassy ice with snow. One fresh air charm on the cave later, and she was sure she could turn this little hermit-cave into a proper secret laboratory.

Drilling down into the earth, carving herself a stone bed, a stone table, and some stone chairs, that was all she felt ready to do today, when it came to her goal. She opened a tin of sweetcorn, and magically boosted her food's size until each individual yellow chunk was about the size of a pineapple.

She didn't feel like eating more than a few sweetapples, or walking to her bed, so she threw herself onto her new simplistic stone table and slept.

* * *

When she awoke, she felt a little better. She was surprised at how alright her back felt, too. In stories, sleeping on the ground almost always resulted in pain.

She had no illusions about her moral character: She was nice, but she was pretty sure she'd be a background pony in anypony else's story. And she had no illusions about her magical power: Calling her power mediocre would be putting it nicely.

"Well, here I go," She said to herself with grim resignation as she started to gather her tins of sweetcorn on and around her table. She needed a lot of magical power for what she was about to achieve, and she felt it was time to test an old theory on how magical power could be artificially created. "Time to prove an old theory or d-d-d... Or d... daaa, dhhhuh... Or be destroyed trying."

She sat on a chair and started to eat her rapidly-growing sweetapples until she felt sick. When she felt she'd had enough, she kept eating. When she felt nauseous, she kept eating. When her bulging and distending stomach started to press against and around the edge of her table like a bloated pustule, she kept eating for just one minute more.

When her horn ignited, she closed her eyes and began to trust in herself. In her intelligence. In her determination. In all that she'd worked for. In the only virtues she honestly thought she could ever say she had.

She thought of her lost love for the Equestria she wanted to save, and her rediscovered love for the Equestria of now.

She trusted in her hope that there had to be a way to save the Equestria she loved, and no fear or pain would stop her. She'd given up her home, her cushy life as a Royal Scientist, and the world she knew so she could save it. She'd given up her diet and her figure, and she'd even give up her body itself if she had to. She would be the one to save Equestria from humanity, by saving humanity from itself.

When she felt her resolve grow stronger, she cast a spell to accelerate her own metabolism, and she felt her own magical energies burn away the food inside her. She cast the spell again, and again, her discomfort and hunger growing with each cast. Her stomach started to shrink, and she slowed this shrinkage by pushing more food into her furiously-chewing mouth, her magic growing stronger and glowier with each second as the magic burning within and around her flew back through her body and built up within her heart and skull.

She could feel it, she could feel her horn start to heat up under the enormous magical pressure. And deep within her, something, some kind of ancient and primal survival mechanism long discarded, or some secret potential she had yet to unlock, it was there, and...

When her tied-up bone-white mane burst outward into a hot-pink array of sharp and tense spikes, her golden fur growing out in her face, enough to make it fuzzy, and in her shoulders, enough to spike out in sharp clumps and break up their smooth lines, her lanky body thickening to become stronger and cuter, hot-pink fur growing rapidly to coat her lower hooves, she knew she could finally stop eating... for now. She'd be eating like a family of four for the rest of her life, but it was worth it. It had to be worth it.

Looking over her furred hooves, she grinned. "Excellent," She whispered to herself, her voice lower than it was before. "Looks like my thesis on artificially-induced pony evolution was right after all, Night Flight!"

Night Flight... Her old Pegasus friend from college. She wondered what that Royal Evolutionary Biologist was up to now, and if she ever did anything with her dreams of magically forcing herself to become an Alicorn.

Probably not, she decided, or Nightie would have crashed through her window at some point over the past few years.

She knew Night Flight would love seeing proof that artificial pony evolution could be magically induced without the requirement of grand destinies or items of magical importance, and she felt her resolve and magical power grow as she reminded herself she'd be able to show her in person when she was done saving Equestria.

Prancer hiccuped, and the transformation failed as she reverted back to her old body in an instant, exhausted and utterly drained. She collapsed off the side of her chair, and rested on the cold, hard floor for almost 24 whole hours.

When she awoke, she decided she needed more practice with achieving and maintaining this form. And so, she practiced, for weeks on end. When she could stay in what she decided to call her Super Pony Form, for lack of a better term, for over an hour at a time, she kept practicing for a few more years. After all, she had the food, and she had nothing better to do.

When she was able to remain in the form for a whole day, before losing it upon going to sleep, she was pretty sure she'd taken it as far as any pony could. She didn't want to see if an Ascended Super Pony, or Super Pony 2 form was possible. Or a Double-Ascended Super Pony form, or as some could call it for short, Super Pony 3. She didn't even want to think of what her hair would look like in a Super Pony 4 form. For all she knew, attempting to go Super Pony 2 would result in all that new power going to her thighs. And then causing her to blow up.

In any case, early next morning, she finally felt she was ready to start using the incredible and unearned power of the form she only sort-of earned for the good of all.

A pink light brighter than ever before blazed to life around her horn. Enhancing her eyesight far beyond the limits of a normal pony, she formed a small one-way portal the size of a hand-mirror, something only visible and permeable from this side. As the other end's invisible portal formed above America, she began to travel across the globe.

And so, sustained purely by massively expanded sweetcorn and her own trust in herself and the purity of her mission, she began to observe humanity, starting in the 1980s and moving on from there.

She wanted to see everything. The rich, the poor, and the in-between. The good, the bad, and the in-between.

Prancer grew sweetcorn plants out of magic-filled stone to pass the time, and to give herself more food. And, while eating that food... She saw great evil during her tour. And she saw great good. But not enough good, certainly not enough good to make up for the bad. Poverty, needless war, endless death, famine, suffering on every street corner.

And the good she did see... Often contrasted with the bad in a rather interesting way.

She'd never been one for Professor Oak's theory of Elementalism, in which all life forms with certain things in common could be grouped together and assigned an arbitrary element. And designating ponykind as "Harmony-Type" just seemed absurdly self-congratulatory, especially once you proceeded to designate invidual ponies as combinations of "Harmony and Magic" or "Harmony and Loyalty". These Combination-Element Beings, or "Dual-Types", as Oak had put it, seemed to be a way to get out of explaining away how two members of a species that embodied one virtue could also display additional ones separate from one another, if their virtues were truly so ingrained. However, she was starting to understand why he published that controversial thesis so long ago. If she had to pick two elements for this species, it would be Fire, and Fighting.

It was tempting to replace one of those types with Steel, as many humans seemed almost robotic in comparison to ponies and animals. And they certainly loved their machines. And their metal swords, and the lead bullets in their metal guns. But steel itself didn't seem as applicable to these creatures as the other two types. Besides, according to Oak's theories, there could be no triple-type or quadruple-type beings. Fire, and the explosions they produced with the aid of gunpowder, these were necessary to the function of guns anyway.

Not to mention the way they burned their food before eating it, like animals. They even burned some sweets, like marshmallows!

Fighting was obvious. These humans were violent and warlike, and where females instinctively sought out strength, males sought out females that could induce jealousy in others, hoping to start an excuse to fight. So many terrible humans lived their dull, meaningless lives with no reason to exist besides fighting and starting fights. And yet, many humans dedicated their lives to fighting openly, and these ended up strong, moral, kind athletes who fought for the sake of whatever combat sport they dreamed up this week. Or even nonviolent sports, in the case of runners and swimmers and jumpers. The urge to fight was within all humans, ignored in some, corrupted in some, and enhancing the life in others. Yes, she'd definitely classify these beings as Fighting-type.

And Fire... While they weren't on fire, they weren't made of fire, and they couldn't shoot fire from their hands or mouth, Fire seemed like a good way to describe humanity. The roaring flames of determination and purpose burned within every good human, driving him or her on his path. Speed, strength, a gold medal, fame, accolades, trophies, the approval of parents or peers... Humans seemed to be at their best when they were trying their best, and had a reason inside to tell them why. There was a fire within all good humans, a fire no outside force could snuff out.

Of course, some fires were snuffed out anyway by their governments and bizarrely two-faced society, turning a good human into another mindless automaton ready to slave away for the good of the colony. Some fires were snuffed out so thoroughly, the presence of flames within other humans became a terrifying anathema, a seemingly unnatural and barbaric thing. Some fires were snuffed out so brutally, the end result was a human that loathed fire, situations where fire was necessary, and people who had and could use fire. A human who longed for a world of similarly miserable fire-haters with similarly miserable and aimless lives.

Human society truly was a strange contradiction... It worked to benefit the cruel and ambitious and utterly heartless, but only if they were rich in terms of money or power or fame, punishing any poor people who might display those traits or anything approaching them. It was an evil society that pretended to be a good one, that's what she was tempted to say, but this seemed too judgemental for a pony thought.

It was... an attempt. These humans tried to make a good society on this small and miserable planet, and it didn't quite work out, but they were too stubborn to admit they couldn't hack it on their own.

Or, were they too... dare she say it... optimistic? Optimistic and determined. It was almost as if a group of creatures that were neither inherently good or evil were trying, and frequently failing, to be good. After all, these things certainly weren't Harmony-type.

The time period, she decided. Things weren't as bad then as they were now... Wait, no. Time-Travel. Things were not yet as bad as they would be, in the future this world would probably enter if she did nothing. Which meant she only had a handful of years to make things right. She had to stop humanity from consuming all its natural resources, harming its fellow man, driving its fellow animal to extinction, and surrendering its potential and future to all-powerful and all-consuming companies.

Or, they would remain corrupt and only get worse, what remained of their collective morality and sanity rotting away until not even the Ponies of her time could save them, at which point, the corrupt Celestia would demand her head on a silver platter for trying to prevent what she'd eventually come to see as necessary and just.

So, no pressure.

She thought of travelling to Equestria and ranting about how her species would soon come and destroy them unless they were good enough, but she was quite certain this species would take that as a challenge.

She thought of posing as some assorted diety worshipped by humanity, and teleporting some rocks with stone carvings into highly-populated areas, ordering humanity to get its collective shit together or perish in the fires of pony hell, but the thought of posing as a god didn't sit right with her. Also, she didn't want the rekindled goodness of humanity to come from fear of punishment from an all-powerful being, she wanted the goodness of humanity to come from within each human.

Well, from outside, and then from within.

From outside... And then, from within.

Farts! Farts, she realized. Farts came from digested food that came from outside. Then they came from within, and then went outside. Also, Humanity could create fire by igniting its own farts! Sure, plenty of animals could do this, but she didn't even know this was possible until she observed a human attempt it out of boredom and succeed. There, now a human simply HAD to count as part-fire!

And this... didn't help her at all.

She groaned, and started over. She could use her newly-increased power to start destroying factories and reducing congested and overpopulated cities to rubble. And then, she could use her magic to purify water and build sustainable housing for everyone on earth, and teach them to live in harmony with one another while throwing the unharmonious ones into an active volcano. Or turning them into chocolate for the good humans to eat.

Or, she could pose as the champion of a highly powerful race of alien invaders, here to enslave humanity. She could destroy cities and blast down lasers from high mountains and ruined cities. She could build herself up as the biggest and baddest monster to ever arrive on earth, destroying villains and forcing humanity to live in fear, teaching even the worst monsters that being evil was never okay. And then, when everypony left alive united to destroy her, she could pretend to be destroyed or sealed away inside the moon while proclaiming that she'd be back to destroy everyone if the world ever descended into war and chaos again. And then, and she could watch over the newly-born kinder and more harmonious humanity, only ignoring her fake banishment if they needed her aid once more.

...No, she didn't want to be like that.

She didn't want to be worshipped! She didn't want to violently smash anything up. She wanted the salvation of humanity to come from outside, and then, from within.

From...

Outside, and then...

From within...

That was it! What came from outside, and then came from within? A disease! She wasn't sure how, but she knew what needed to be done: She needed to create a disease that would re-ignite the goodness within all humans, and send it to Equestria.

And with that new purpose, she was ready. She knew what needed to be done, she knew how it had to be done, and she was going to do it. The fate of two worlds rested on her four shoulders, and she wasn't going to let either world down.

She toiled for days and nights on end, sleeping only while standing up for four hours each day. Sleeping at night would risk detection by this world's current Luna, if she existed in Equestria, which she wasn't sure about. She probably should have read some history books before coming back here, but... Ah, well, what can you do?

She found herself getting a taste of those "Fires of Willpower", mixed in with some typical pony terror. If she failed, she was doomed. And her friends were doomed. And their foals, if any of them ever had any, were also doomed.

And she wasn't about to let that happen. She would protect her herd.

She ran tests, she transmuted rocks into pest animals, she infected and experimented on rats, she mutated both virus and animal in her effort to create exactly what she needed. Lines were crossed that could never be un-crossed. The process of trial and error was tried until it stopped failing completely. Birds passing overhead were magically pulled from the sky and turned into guinea pigs, metaphorically and, near the end of her experiments, literally. She did things pony society would banish her for, and she did it out of love for the pony society she remembered.

Finally, after two whole weeks of constant work, her legs ached from standing around and sleeping upright for so long, her body felt weak, her soul longed for contact with another pony, she was sick of tinned sweetcorn, and she was quite certain she'd never be able to find a bird cute again, but none of that would matter any more. She was going to get some social interaction soon enough, and go inside more life forms than any good mare ever should.

The end result could only be crafted with magic. A virus, with unprecedented transformative and mind-altering capabilities, and the ability to create its own self-replicating bacteria. A universal and leaderless hive mind of sorts would unite the cells, its intelligence and ability to magically alter its own genes growing as it became more plentiful within more host bodies. This hive mind would also ensure any mutations the virus's hive mind liked would stick around and magically spread through the other cells. No disease strains would have to compete with others for their prey and the world's future, thanks to this.

And now that it was complete, it needed transmission vectors. The first one was obvious. Touch! Humans touched each other, their pets, their friends, their lovers, their enemies, themselves, their property, and the property of others all the time. Company pens, business cards, doorknobs, those strange card-detecting machines in walls that were full of money, and the buttons on those machines, keypads on doors, screens on the phones that would be invented soon enough, humans touched all sorts of things. An evolutionary holdover from their monkey days, perhaps. After all, according to something she'd read, it was a human who thought to touch a burning wooden stick and use it as a weapon to burn and cook and eat animals who'd originally founded human society in the first place.

Prancer remembered hearing a joke how, if a human had access to a button that would end all life in the multiverse, the paint on a "Danger! Do not touch!" wouldn't even have time to dry before a human pressed it.

And this trait would be their downfall.

No, their... Upfall?

It had to be transmitted primarily through touch, she reminded herself, and she was glad she spent so long figuring out every possible method of disease transmission. Touch! Touch was the way.

Oh, and how fitting such a transmission vector would be! To grant the infected the ability to literally hug the evil out of a human... Poetry. Truly, poetry in motion.

Hooray for fomites!

Still, touch wasn't enough. Touch wouldn't get everyone. Not even if she broke the transmission barrier and allowed animals to catch and carry the disease, so they could spread it to other humans.

The ability to be transmitted through air and water, she decided, were close seconds in terms of importance. An adaptive shell would be necessary to ensure this invisible beast could survive and thrive in heat and cold, while bypassing any air filters this species might have, magical or nonmagical. Ships, planes, they would carry her virus to other countries, while her perfected humans spread the diseases amongst themselves.

Waterborne diseases were always highly infectious, according to what she'd read long ago, so she designed the virus to thrive in any water. It had a mild resistance to chemical treatment, but she couldn't improve upon that without compromising any of the other, far more important aspects of the disease she'd need to add soon. She could let fancy humans with fancy water filters postpone the inevitable, for friendly hordes of friendly humans would be there to hug the evil out of them soon enough.

But sheer friendliness wasn't enough. That wasn't what made a species harmonious, that was only a tiny piece of it, a lesson forgotten by whoever designed the Newfoal transformation. This virus needed to make humans kinder, yes, and it needed to be something that an uninfected human would want to obtain. It needed to make humans stronger, smarter, and healthier.

This virus needed to make humans better, or they'd snuff it out in an instant. Destruction often seemed to be what these beasts- These HUMANS did best, after all.

She sighed. She was trying to make humanity more presentable, so it wouldn't cause such incredible and instinctive disgust in ponykind. If she wanted others to accept these monkey-beasts, she'd have to first accept them herself, no matter how hard that was for her. She forced herself to think of what humans could be with her help, and she found her mood improving. Humans did, after all, show a remarkable aptitude for the sciences. If she could harness that for Equestria's benefit, why, everypony's life would be improved. And good times bred kinder humans, while dark times created darker souls. Though these apes would likely use magic for destructive purposes if it was just given to them right now, if they uncovered it after evolving just a little more...

She decided to hold off on giving magic to humanity until she was sure they were ready for it. And she would help them get there, or die trying. For now, it was time for her to use her magic to give humanity a brain, and a heart.

She gave the virus the ability to infect another host through blood-to-blood contact, and made some beneficial changes to the virus. Allergic reactions would be numbed, and babies with the disease would never find themselves allergic to things like strawberries or animal hair. More antibodies would be produced, stronger antibodies that would focus on and destroy any disease other than her own. A human's metabolism would be improved, to go with its enhanced nutrient flow to the occipital and temporal lobes. After all, humanity would likely have an easier time appreciating the beauty of life if it could properly see it with its stupid tiny forward-facing dog eyes.

Brain development would be enhanced, especially in infants, and brains would find themselves better at storing information in general. The Amygdala would also find itself modified, slightly prioritizing kind, compassionate, protective, and helpful emotional responses over violent and cruel ones. Still, she wouldn't compromise the human self-preservation instinct. Her humans needed to survive if they were going to infect other humans, and she didn't want to create mindless Newfoals. She decided to include some minor adjustments to the Hypothalamus, making it easier for humans to appreciate the good happiness and harmony could do.

She noticed a worrying trend in humanity. The more their world's society was damaged and subverted by its evil elites, the less anyone wanted to see any virtues in their partners besides obedience, if that could even be called a virtue. Smarter people had fewer kids, while stupider ones had more frequent ones, and she knew how she could fix this. The infected would be friendly, sure, but humans tended to seek out more attractive partners, a response to whatever was responsible for their wildly-varying faces. She couldn't, for the life of her and every other pony in the multiverse, tell what an attractive human was supposed to be, but all organisms wanted a physically and mentally fit partner, so she decided to use the power of virus-granted skin-secreted natural steroids to improve muscle growth and pheromone generation. A marginally increased desire to mate would add to this. What man wouldn't want this? What man wouldn't then happily spread something that resulted in more cheerful and attractive party animals to lay with, and, when he was ready to settle down, a kinder and more compassionate wife? What woman wouldn't want to spread what she had obtained to her partner, her children, and any other surface and life form she touched?

One more enhancement to the limbic system, to make humans better at feeling, reciprocating, understanding, and appreciating romantic love, and she was done.

...Almost.

Now, it was time for the part she wasn't particularly looking forward to.

While this could backfire horribly, the alternative was to leave things up to chance and wait around in the Equestria of 1996, and while she'd made sure to vanish without a trace and without letting anypony learn of her true goals, ensuring no time-travelling human-hating supposedly-equine monster would chase after her, she didn't particularly like the idea of waiting around and hoping she didn't actually alter the past of this world, turning the Equestria in which she currently resided into an alternate Equestria in a new alternate world, unable to affect the dark path her Equestria went down.

She began to focus her magic on her own mind, scanning every last part of it and encoding it into the virus. Every flaw she had, every lie she told herself and others, the best and worst of who she was were brought to the forefront of her psyche as her mind reflexively translated the knowledge flowing through the magical energies running through her horn. The two would exist in tandem, for now. Hopefully, the disease would be properly sentient, and ready to evolve and adapt to whatever stood in its way. And with her own mind at the helm, there was no way it would turn evil and give them horrible cysts and anaemia and dysentery or whatever.

...She hoped.

She sighed again. Well, there was no way she could put it off any longer. The world needed to be saved by a diseased pony.

Prancer vanished in a flash of pink light.

* * *

 **Day 1.**

It all began in China.

Prancer ended it all and cast the last spell she'd ever need. She vanished in a flash of pink light as she dispersed into a cloud of airborne pink dust, swirling through her portal and into the eighteen healthiest young Chinese adults on the street within swirling distance. Her essence and spirit joined with each new Carrier as it forced its way into each one's cells, and she felt herself stretch across every new cell their bodies created. If she had pain receptors, she would have likely considered this incredibly painful.

 **Day 3**

Fourty people were infected.

The disease was picked up by someone with the common cold. Its DNA was replicated in part, and Prancer's virus adapted the ability to make her victims cough and sneeze, to spread the newly-infectious mucus of her infected.

Touch transmission ability half-manifested.

Blood-to-blood transmission ability fully manifested.

 **Day 7**

185 people were infected.

She adapted the ability to bypass the species barrier, in the case of birds.

Her virus could now survive in the water.

Touch transmission ability fully manifested, virus can now exist for 72 hours on non-biological surfaces.

In the ocean, the species barrier for small fish was breached. These animals couldn't be affected by the disease, but it could reproduce within their digestive tracts.

She began working on the ability to bypass the species barrier, in the case of small animals.

 **Day 10**

845 people were infected.

Finalized the ability to bypass the species barrier, in the case of small animals, such as rodents, insects, dogs, and cats. These animals couldn't be affected by the disease, but it could reproduce within their digestive tracts. Her virus could find itself transmitted through contact with their dust, hair follicles, and... residue.

 **Day 14**

4,210 people were infected.

Symptoms of common cold removed from the infected. They were no longer necessary.

Developed the ability to bypass any alveolar macrophage in lungs. Virus can now be transmitted through the air, exhaled by infected people, and inhaled by the soon-to-be infected.

Bypassed the species barrier in the case of birds, lizards, and all fish.

A full resistance to the cold was evolved.

A plane to London brought her virus to the United States of America.

Bypassed the species barrier for large animals, such as Tigers, Horses, and Elephants.

United Kingdom is infected.

Greenland is infected.

 **Day 17**

740,412 people infected.

Work begins on improving humanity. Mild eye irritation occurs in the infected, followed by a marginally better ability to notice rapid movement. It was a start.

Production of antibodies enhanced, allergic reactions lessened. Children of the infected do not develop allergic reactions to things like Strawberries and Peanuts.

Prancer notices how hard she currently finds the act of keeping tenses straight. Part of her says this should be a diary, and part of her says to mentally prepare this day-by-day account of how her quest went in a cold and clinical manner, but she finds it hard to care about things like that when there are more life forms to infect and save. She gave up, and decided she can change her Tense whenever she wants.

Prancer's Virus can now survive on the dust particles and shed hair of humans.

 **Day 19**

2,355,706 people infected.

Developed a full resistance to heat

Developed a full resistance to human antibacterials

Prancer decides full stops at the end of sentences are optional, as long as they end in a line break

Infected humans recover from the common cold 1.3 times faster

Magical capabilities strengthened in preparation for future changes

 **Day 25**

33,635,658 people infected.

Birds, especially pigeons and bats, find themselves compelled to fly into the air and "Score bullseyes" on humans and water supplies, spreading their virus.

Nutrient flow to the occipital and temporal lobes enhanced in humans, appetite slightly increased to go with it.

Norway is infected.

Sweden is infected.

Human metabolism enhanced, building muscle becomes easier.

Waterborne virus traits enhanced, virus can now be secreted through sweat. Infected gyms help spread the virus.

Brain Tissue of fish compromised. Infected fish compelled to swim up and bite worms, infected fish start to enter the food supply for amateur fishers and many countries around the world.

 **Day 30**

71,442,425 people infected.

Symptoms of common cold return in the infected.

Infected humans find themselves compelled to travel the world and seek out beauty, many start cashing in their vacation days to do so.

Brazil is infected.

Japan is infected.

South America is infected.

North America is infected.

India is infected.

Botswana is infected.

South Korea is infected.

Uganda is infected.

Australia is infected.

Canada is infected.

Saudi Arabia is infected.

 **Day 38**

1,565,365 people infected.

Someone with lung cancer was infected. And cured of lung cancer.

Water transmission perfected to the point where one infected human entering a swimming pool can saturate the pool with Prancer virus.

Neuron development enhanced in newborns.

Reproductive abilities in humans slightly enhanced.

 **Day 40**

2,543,653 people infected.

Someone with lung cancer was infected. And cured of lung cancer.

Water transmission perfected to the point where one infected human entering a swimming pool can saturate the pool with Prancer virus.

Dogs, Cats, Horses, and Birds have their intelligence increased.

Chance of kind personality developing increases in Cat and Horse brains.

To Prancer's surprise, cats become more affectionate and slightly less egotistical once infected. They still kept their feline pride, but they became more likely to act cute and affectionate. And rub their cute little faces on their owners' hands, demanding pats and infecting any humans through contact.

 **Day 50**

3,121,423 people infected.

Almost all of China is infected.

Chinese sweatshops are closed down and their owners are prosecuted as worker-protecting reforms sweep the country.

Virus develops the ability to hitch a free ride on pollen. Infectivity enhanced.

Increased intelligence in humans results in fewer stupid accidents that require a trip to the Accident And Emergency department. Experts baffled, but not complaining.

Enhancement to the limbic system makes humans better at feeling, reciprocating, understanding, and appreciating romantic love.

Enhancements made to the Hypothalamus, making it easier for infected humans to appreciate the good happiness and harmony could do.

 **Day 60**

16,436,264 people infected.

Neuron development slightly enhanced worldwide further, and enhanced greater in children.

Infected human brains become better at storing information.

Amygdala modified, slightly prioritizing kind, compassionate, protective, and helpful emotional responses over violent and cruel ones.

Skin-secreted natural steroids start to enhance muscle production in humans.

 **Day 70**

96,432,424 people infected.

The incredible downsides of tobacco consumption and complete lack of upsides are noted by the general populace, and Smoking is banned in the UK and USA, with other countries soon to follow suit. Though many addicts continue to illegally import and smoke their poison in secret, none are stupid enough to smoke openly in public, or around children, something the world starts to consider as reprehensible as injecting oneself and the nearest children with heroin.

 **Day 85**

1,000,452,254 people infected.

All birds on earth are infected.

Crime rate significantly drops worldwide, if you don't count the skyrocketing rate of 'Inappropriate parties' happening worldwide. Cops look the other way so they can focus on crimes that harm people. Infectivity increased, despite Prancer's disgust at what she has created.

Prisons find themselves becoming more effective at rehabilitating criminals. Politicians currently in power take credit.

Many begin to suspect some kind of criminal organization has something planned for the world. Legal gun ownership rate in the US increases, just in case.

 **Day 90**

1,521,525,764 people infected.

Countries across the world become fully infected.

Energy production nationalized and given away for free to its citizens as solar panels are built on roofs to partially recuperate costs.

Caps are set on the prices of homes worldwide, to reflect their 'Quality Tier' and the expected earnings of those who can afford to purchase them or rent them out. Housing market gets a little less terrible.

Limits are put on how bad cheap shoes can be.

Worldwide image of beauty starts to shift, focusing on the ideal of peak physical performance.

Foreign aid is nationalized by major countries, with focus on results, not on making oneself feel kind. Foreign aid focuses less on food shipments and more on building up every poor and failing country's ability to sustain itself. Less state-funded mass immigration and more sponsoring of locals to keep them in their own countries while granting them skills they can use to better their countries for everyone who lives there.

 **Day 95**

4,872,671,843 people infected.

Tech production accelerates as countries around the world form the Future Tech Organization, a multinational charity group that donates money and supplies to independent scientists and small organizations eager to make the world a better place. Apply for a grant online today!

Humans begin to notice the changes in their world. Old Religions have their answers, but a new one forms around the idea that humanity has discovered its latent magical potential, and that the world is finally reshaping itself according to its wishes.

Regardless of religion or ideology, bands of roving humans form to break into the homes of rich people and hug the evil out of them.

 **Day 97**

5,171,463,262 people infected.

To increase funding and popularity, the Future Tech Organization opens up a branch that exists to offer to fund the development of independent movies and games, asking for a small share of the profits in return. In addition, the FTO creates a website where developers can freely create pages that advertise what they wish to create, and beg for donations to fund it. When a product reaches fifty thousand clicks of the "I'm Interested!" button, which gives you regular email updates on the product's status, it is automatically added to the FTO's queue of items to look at and consider offering to fund directly, in addition to whatever money it already raised on its own.

New ability developed in humans: When a human's body fat percentage reaches or surpasses 40%, that human's metabolism is kicked into overdrive, consuming fat and producing energy in levels that are painful if not used, to motivate that human to get up and move.

Obese people who enjoyed being obese bemoan their loss of weight, but grow to accept it upon realizing how great healthy living is. Some strange people intentionally eat themselves into obesity again, so they can experience this sensation multiple times.

 **Day 100**

Over seven billion people are infected.

All humans on earth are infected.

All animals on earth are infected.

Cats and Dogs develop near-complete sentience, and start to get along with one another.

Small, cheap, and crappy phones with tiny screens and tiny keyboards and internet access are developed, mass-produced, and distributed worldwide as unfiltered and uncensored access to the internet becomes a globally-recognized human right. Those who want better and faster phones can purchase them in stores.

 **Day 120**

Prancer felt nostalgic, and caused infected Humans to develop long and prehensile Chimpanzee-like tails coated in long and brightly-coloured prehensile hair.

Prancer increases the intelligence of humanity a little more, and begins to allow the kindest and purest 5% of humanity to develop magic that can only be used benevolently. Because humans lack horns, their magic can be charged in and unleashed from body parts where they have an abundance of nerve endings: Fingertips, palms, feet, and for some strange reason, lips.

 **Day 121**

Some humans with magic hide their powers.

Some humans hide them and use them only to cure or save the lives of themselves and those they care about when needed.

Some humans begin to discreetly travel the world, curing the sick while staying hidden for fear of getting captured and experimented on "For the good of all".

Prancer notices that nobody wants to study his or her own magical gifts or aid in the scientific exploration of magic and its true potential.

 **Day 130**

Moral restrictions on developing magic are loosened, but not abolished entirely.

Dogs and Cats develop the ability to let their owners and the family members of those owners heal faster.

The most morally-upright 33% of human beings above the age of 13 start to develop the ability to use magic.

 **Day 140**

Magical humans start to meet and befriend other magical humans while forming secret Dark Web websites for the discussion of magic online.

 **Day 150**

After days of heated debate, the magical community decides to share its magic with the world, come what may.

 **Day 180**

No riots, no global freakouts, no state-sanctioned exploitation of the 33% by the 67%... As wonder and amazement filled the lives of humanity once again and a brilliant new frontier of exploration is opened up, Prancer found herself proud of what she'd done with this species.

To reward humanity, Prancer allows all humans above the age of 13 to develop the ability to use magic, but only benevolently. Try to use magic to harm another being, and your magical abilities fizzle out for a few hours, giving you extreme dizziness and nausea.

 **Day 190**

Books are written on magic and published by magical theorists and magical experts

Prancer allows humanity to develop wings, with stronger back and shoulder muscles forming to aid in flight.

Some martial arts dojos incorporate magic into their fighting styles, and some do not. "Worthless" martial arts that focus on "Punch energies" and "Confusing hand movements" suddenly become a lot less worthless.

Schools around the world start to teach magic as a mandatory subject on the level of English and Maths.

The internet is used to share magical techniques openly, while the Dark Web fills with copyrighted information normally restricted to expensive books.

Humans discover that they can bypass Prancer's ban on destructive magic if it is used in constructive ways, such as to destroy condemned buildings.

Humans discover that they can bypass Prancer's ban on destructive magic if it is used in friendly and nonviolent competition with other humans. When test-games of "Kamehameha Football" end in failure and games of "Instant Transmission Football" do not, humanity starts to figure out the rules Prancer imposed on their magic.

Prancer resolves to correct any loophole humanity may discover if it lets humans seriously harm other humans, or worse, animals. But until then, she can let the big kids fire Kamehamehas into the sky. After all, they fail when they would harm birds or passing planes.

Prancer does not pity the jobs of the International Olympic Committee, which comes under international pressure to either add magical events to its regular lineup, or add a third Olympics event exclusively for magicians and magical events.

 **Day 270**

Some pets are granted complete sentience and the ability to speak by their owners, despite worldwide bans on this. Good pets stay quiet when in public, bad ones have their occasional comments politely ignored.

Magic-enhanced CPUs are developed, designed to absorb the magical energies from thin beams fired by their users every week and use it to rapidly increase the rate at which information is transferred by its other parts.

 **Day 300**

Fearing the effects of the "Millennium Bug", countries band together to fund free upgrades to computers worldwide. Soon, computers would not recognize the current year as a two-digit number to be displayed as 19XX, but as a five-digit number. In addition, any computer that incorrectly interpreted the rules on Leap Years would be fixed.

Experts predict that by 1999, all computers will recognize the date as 01999 and visually display the date as 1999 when asked.

 **1999**

The experts were correct. While phones are denied upgrades, this just forces people to buy new phones.

Magic-enhanced television screens are developed, with the ability to display 3d images recorded by magic-enhanced cameras.

Larger screens start to become more popular as HD, Ultra HD, 2K, and 4K screens are developed.

Magic-enhanced CDs are developed, able to store up to 2 Terrabytes of data on single discs. Additional information can be encoded into magical Storage Spell symbols that can be placed on the label side

Pokemon becomes wildly popular, and the abundance of unofficial Pokemon "Fan-Games", as they're called, forces the international community to recognize them as a medium legally protected under new Fair Use laws.

 **2000**

Humanity doesn't just survive the Millennium Bug, it avoids it entirely.

It's Springtime for Mages as the Olympic Committee announces a new event in the spring: The Magic Olympics! Uphill Skiing on forcefields athletes form and reshape into skiis, and then propel using snow spells or explosion spells or sustained wind blasts from the hands, Fencing with absurd-looking magical swords that carry built-in spells of their own, Rowing races and marathon swimming races between master-level water mages, basketball with time-benders and time-erasers on the field, golf with space-benders, boxing between impossibly fast and strong and durable muscular behemoths, who shifted back into their original peak-fitness forms when the matches were over, it was incredible.

USA brings home the most medals, at 67.

Russia takes home second place at 62.

Third place goes to the United Kingdom, at 58.

 **2002**

Some American woman used time magic to go back in time and end World War 2 as soon as it began. Returning to her own timeline when her job was complete, she found that multiverse theory was true, and with her aid, her country established diplomatic relations with that world's America of 1939.

Spurred on by this woman's success story, many people around the world started to go back in time and create new, better timelines.

Some individuals set themselves up as the creators of The Internet, The Personal Computer, and The Radio decades or even centuries before their time. Prancer felt herself stretch across new worlds and new timelines, spread by her own people as she began to replicate her previous changes in each new Planet Earth.

Some individuals started to see how they could influence world history "For the better", and returning to your home time and bragging about how your most recent timeline change went went from an amazing thing to something to casually discuss around the water cooler.

Some humans go back in time and create Pokemon, unleashing them on the world once Pokeballs are developed and can be sustainably created from fruit trees magically mutated into Apricorns.

Prancer realizes creating Pokemon and unleashing them on the world to obliterate its ecosystem bypasses her "No using magic to harm other life forms" rule. It's a good thing the humans who created these Pokemon knew to monitor the effect these Pokemon have on the ecosystem and magically correct the worst effects.

Prancer infects over seven thousand billion life forms and counting.

Prancer develops the ability to siphon the tiniest percentage of magic from its host bodies and transmit it through the aether and into a central mass of magic constructed within a newly-formed once-empty pocket dimension of infinite size.

 **2003**

The literacy rate soars worldwide as more intelligent babies and children start to vastly outperform their parents.

Universes that were altered significantly by a Prancer carrier in the past, or "Past Universes" as they're now officially called, begin to aid the main universe, or "Prime Universe", in its scientific and magiscientific exploits.

It occurs to Prancer that she might technically be immortal now. She cannot bring herself to care when there are more life forms to infect.

Able to acquire near-infinite resources from infinite timelines, especially from timelines where humanity never evolved and empty planets full of resources are left lying around, Humanity set its sights on the stars.

Humans who use magic many times per day start to find it difficult to swear.

The international and multidimensional community gathers to support the NASA of the so-called "Prime Universe" as Generation Ships filled with living and reproducing humans, humans in a state of magical suspended animation, and the magitek needed to create new colonies on new planets are launched into space at large and far-off planets. To save time, Earth-Like planets have groups of humans teleported directly to them, with the aid of large Magitek gates.

 **2006**

Out of nostalgia for her old home, Prancer grants humanity the ability to develop impossible hair and eye colours: Green, purple, pink, and so on.

Out of nostalgia for her old home, Prancer grants humanity a far slower rate of Telomere deterioration. Humanity ages slower once fully mature, and begins to develop the negative effects of ageing far later in life. Prancer predicts that humans can now survive to the age of 250-300.

The television program Code Geass is released, and instantly becomes a cult classic. People are horrified by the vision of what the world would become if expansionism, moral relativism, and excessive consumption were allowed to continue on and ruin the world. An unexpectedly large fanbase forms around this show, calling themselves "Twelves" in reference to the show's Elevens, and the /12/ board on 4chan is formed to house them. When 4chan's moderation bans all mention of Code Geass outside of their "Containment Board", the community leaves in disgust and forms and to discuss their show. is formed to house the incredible amount of long, deep, thought-provoking literature its fans write on this show, while the unprecedented abundance of grown men and women buying children's toys results in the show getting renewed for eight seasons, four awful movies, nine great movies, a fighting game, a handful of straight-to-DVD short animations, and one great stage play almost instantly.

Many conventions and charity projects are organized by the Twelves, and some band together and travel back in time to grant the humans of old solidified magic stones they call Sakuradite, and kickstart their newly-formed and ethical Knightmare Frame Research and Development industries.

One human with a great deal of willpower claims he has developed the ability to manifest another magical being out of his own magical energy, a humanoid figure with the ability to make whoever it touches unable to lie for ten minutes. Other humans are unable to see this being without a pair of TrueSight(TM)-brand Enchanted Glasses or Enchanted Sunglasses. Similar cases start to pop up around the world, and "Magical Being Summoners", or "Stand Users" as a classic manga series calls them, find themselves able to see the spirits, or "Stands", of others with their naked eyes. Almost every Stand's ability is unique, and many seem absolutely useless at a first glance.

Prancer begins teleporting infected dust particles in fully-infected universes into her Pocket Dimension, where she practices moving infected dust particles around at will, exercising her collected magical power.

The first human returns to his home universe with news that he developed a fully-functional wrist-mounted transformation device, as inspired by a show he loved as a teenager. It can scan the DNA of life forms, temporarily transform its wearer into them, and transmit its stored data wirelessly between other "Omnimatrixes", as they are called. Uninhabited planets and uninhabited universes are used as petri dishes as humans compete to see who can recreate aliens canonically seen in Ben 10 first, and who can create the most powerful "Original Aliens".

 **2008**

Stand Battling(Duels between Stand Users, narrated and explained by Stand-using judges), Beam Struggling(Magical Duels in which two mages fire magical attacks at each other, their beams clashing and pushing against one another in a sort of reversed Tug of War game), Knightmare Frame Racing, Knightmare Frame Single Combat, and Knightmare Frame Team Combat(In the 10v10 Team Deathmatch format) are added to the magical 2008 Spring Olympic Games event list just in time. Omnimatrixes, or as many come to call them, Omnitrixes, are banned from the event due to how impossible they are to regulate.

Omnitrix owners band together with those who developed canon and "Original" Pokemon, Digimon, and form a rather large colony and nearby colosseum for sporting events of their own on one formerly-uninhabited world, each human eager to test their creations out in the new 'Multiform Games'. Prancer learns of fascinating new genetic information from the infected Pokemon and infected Aliens, and stores it for later in her vast multiversal mind. To put those who fight on equal footing with those who create beings to fight for them, she adjusts the "No using magic to harm other beings" limit, transforming it into "No using magic to intentionally harm beings who do not consent to it".

Friendly rivalries begin to grow between universes that primarily use magic, and universes that primarily use technology or magic-enhanced technology.

Prancer develops the ability to "Astral Project" copies of her consciousness into new dimensions, to communicate with them directly.

Prancer develops the ability to teleport infected dust particles into other universes, without the aid of her new humanity.

Prancer develops the ability to magically force life forms in any dimension to develop any symptom she desires, without the aid of her new humanity.

Prancer kills some twelfth-dimensional being that dared to look in her Prime Earth's general direction.

Universes dominated by ponies are infected, and only aided slightly, as they're already everything Prancer wants them to be. Other beings, however, such as Dragons, Griffons, and Changelings, receive her aid.

Some universes, however, require a helping hoof or four made of unquestionably powerful magic and infected shed dust particles to get back on their hooves.

She does not enjoy crushing and reforging the worlds and timelines where more violent methods and more harmful symptoms in the infected were necessary. Still, she felt these stories would make for excellent tales of horror and misery and stubbornness in the face of unquestionable and unstoppable power, were they from the perspective of those societies she had to recreate from scratch.

 **2009**

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is created a year ahead of schedule, and its new, unexpected, colossal, and lively fanbase of children and adults alike makes the Code Geass fandom look like old news. Many "Bronies", as they start to call themselves, start to work together on producing the "Pony" life forms seen in the show. When successful, these new Ponies live amongst humanity in harmony, despite their purely artificial nature, granting Prancer an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment.

The first cross-species multi-life-form multi-life-form relationship between a female Human, a Pony, a Pokemon, a Legendary Pokemon, a Digimon, and nine other artificial life forms with names still pending ends in the desire for collective marriage, and the harem moves to the USA, where this is legalized first, with other countries soon to follow.

With well over five hundred thousand dimensions fully infected, and many, many more infections in progress or on her list, Prancer waits.

 **2458**

When Equestria arrives on Earth, cloaked in an "Unstoppable" magical field the ponies of Equestria are "Powerless" to stop, humanity dismisses the magical shell's adverse effects on non-Equestrian life forms and human art and architecture without even blinking, even though it could no longer personally harm. The "Real" ponies find this new species agreeable, magically gifted, and determined to push every boundary possible, even boundaries ponykind had left unexplored for millennia.

And they all lived happily ever after.

And Prancer was proud.


End file.
